Abi's 1st Birthday Extravaganza

WEll I simply cannot believe it! An ENTIRE year has gone already. Abi turned one last Friday. She's now a year and a week old! Abi is one. Its OVER a year since Abi was born! Our little baby is ONE! Whichever way I say it, I still find it hard to comprehend, and to be honest it has not really sunk in that Matt and I are the 'proud owners'[j.bridger] of a one year old daughter!

It was also so much more of an emotional experience that I ever thought it would be. All the memories of the year before came flooding back, and they were so vivid, which to someone with as poor a memory as mine was pretty intense! I was able to recall so clearly the feelings of being in the hospital, knowing we were hours away from meeting our little creation. The wonderful feeling of happiness and peace that we were lucky enough to experience throughout the entire birth, all that came flooding back. And as I sat there looking at my beautiful girl playing and laughing my heart felt as though it would burst with the hugeness of it all!

Surely it can't be like this every year I thought, and then voiced to my sister in law....Wrong she said, after seven years she still feels it. Wrong said my mother in law, after THIRTY SEVEN YEARS she still feels it! You know what though? That thought, that I would always remember and always feel the same surge of emotion THAT many years from now, Thats's THE BEST unbirthday present EVER! ;-)

UK Family....We want more!

Ok, so first let me be totally honest and upfront - I am being paid to write this review, however once I got into the UK Family website (UK Family Beta Version) I can honestly say I think this may well now rival babycentre.co.uk as my point of call for all things baby related!

Other than the afore mentioned Baby Centre until now I’ve not found another website that has given me everything I need all in one place, and lets face it ladies, that IS WHAT WE CRAVE right…lets keep life simple! Trawling through countless sites all offering a bit of this and a bit of that gets tedious right and UK Family certainly does seem to have everything, the only thing I would want for though is MORE!

MORE of the great articles, MORE of the advice (Adviceopedia) and certainly MORE of the great videos! Specifically I would highly recommend the advice on sleeping and bedtime, especially for those of us now thinking about getting the little bundles of loveliness off the old formula and onto cows milk…. there's a few articles that lead you through that process and advise on the choices we have i.e. slowly but surely....OR....(shudder) Cold Turkey - Think we'll be going for the former!

Health A-Z is a great gadget, but again, it just needs MORE! What is there however is great and it's VERY easy to find what you are looking for.

Finally the best bit in my opinion is the List Bank! For community websites this has to be the ultimate gadget, let me explain! Go to 9 things to think about when shopping for a pram....well except it's now 10 things to think about, as I literally JUST went on, added a list item - and its there already, with the title updated - CLEVER or what! You can add items to the lists already created or start a new list yourself! It’s great!

Oh the joy, oh the pride, oh the rapture....oh my god!?

The other day whilst my mum was taking care of Abi, they were reading a book together, one of these ones with household and every day objects strewn accross the page with the idea that you are somehow teaching your 10 month old child something, other than how not to rip the pages of the book!

Anyway, whilst going through the book, apparently when they got the the party section of the book which has cakes, bicuits and baloons etc all over the page, when my mum dutifully asking Abi "Where are the cakes, where are the biscuits?" etc, not only did she point to the biscuits, but she then grabbed at them in a mock miming action and looking every bit the Marcel_Marceau and then even placed her imaginary biscuits in her mouth, looking very pleased with herself indeed!

We were all; myself, my mum, Matt and our mates Rhyd and Amanda, VERY IMPRESSED, and not only is she great at miming, she's proving to be a Maestro on the piano aswell - if I could post videos on blogger believe me I would, it's genious! Not that we are planning our retirement yet mind you....

Where did that baby smell go?

I know that it's all 'part of the process/part of them growing up' etc, but when I realised for the first time yesterday that Abi no longer had 'that baby smell' I have to admit I was pretty sad. It was something I suppose I thought would last longer, and if I had known it was on it's way out then...oh...what? I would of smelt her more often? My mum pals will bear witness to the fact that this is probably an impossibility, as they teased me I constantly had my nose in her hair!? Anyway...It's gone, and to a certain extent, although she still smells lovely, it's not THE 'baby smell' and I am in mourning. This along with stopping breast feeding on holiday (her decision) means that she just no longer feels like a baby! She's a little person, with an affected laugh and unique smile (something akin to Roland rat and a gurning champion).

Well we survived our first family holiday abroad in Spain. Although we had a couple of days with no running water (literally flushing the loo with water siphoned from the pool) and there was no bath, so we have a hilarious pic of Abi being washed, rubber ducky an all, in a bidet!

Before you judge... this was, with no bath, better than the sink or the floor of the 'rustic' shower! You'll be pleased to know that we got moved to a property with both running water and a bath, and also got £200 compensation! Why is it though that as soon as you go on holiday you get ill, poor little thing, she was projectile vomiting and in such a bad way for the first few days, it was such a relief when we got our fun little Abi back again.

The sun is out, and where am I?....Back at work thats where!

How typical! The sun appears and I have to go back to work! Well we made the most of the long bank holiday weekend as you can see from these lovely pics. If you haven’t been we can highly recommend Hever Castle in Kent, only 50 mins lovely drive through the country...well worth a day trip - Wonderful gardens and lake (can't tell you about the castle as we faffed about outside so long, by the time we got to the castle it was closed for the day!)

Anyway, going back to work and how we coped and how I felt...well for one thing the thought of leaving Abi and going back to work was a LOT harder than actually doing it. I cried as I walked away from home the first two days, and did not cry the third day and then felt guilty that I had not cried for the rest of the day! Abi having not yet reached that dreaded stage where separation anxiety kicks in, is typically oblivious to my departure each morning, and just grins inanely at me as I wave goodbye from the door choking back my tears more often than not! When I return is a different matter however, and she seems to genuinely pleased to see me again that the whole day apart just melts away and I feel like the most loved mum in the world!

Lessons learnt:
1) Make sure you tell all your friends and family when you're going back to work so they all text and call - knowing everyone who cares about you is thinking about you on the dreaded day REALLY helps!
2) Have lots of lovely pics of your beloved on your phone so you can gaze at them, whilst looking like you are just a normal person reading a text or something.
3) DEFINITELY where possible ensure you have NOT been breast feeding during the day for at least a week before going back - as boob explosion is not a pretty sight, and will NOT ingratiate you with your boss or colleagues, it's just weird ok!
4) Set a reminder on Outlook to tell you to START getting ready to leave, (IF you are not a clock watcher of course) as if you miss that earliest train possible, you really feel like you're a bad mother who loves being at work more than being at home with your child (seriously even if it is only 15 mins or so till the next train, you are wracked with guilt!)
5) Don't take the welcome home for granted, make the most of the unbiased and unadulterated joyous reaction to your return, without judgement or any questions about where you've been - it's wonderful

All good things.....

It feels as though I've been off work for AGES, but at the same time, it's gone SO so quickly, but as 'they' say, all good things must come to an end, and in less than a week my maternity leave is officially over, done with, ended, caput, end of, no more, DONE....

I have a real mixture of emotions right now, and it was so hard today having my last Tues afternoon with the NCT girls, although that said, I am seeing them tomorrow, oh and on Thurs too...but the point is, although I knew this was going to happen, it's still hard, REALLY hard!

I had a great chat with a mum friend who's daughter is 16 months, and she had some wise words for me, 'it's just going to be different' I know that sounds so simple, but she's right. This is not the END of something, I will still be Abi's mum, and see her every day, it's not like maternity leave ending is the END of EVERYTHING, it's just that it feels that way at the moment....

IT/This, would be so much harder if I had not got so many wonderful women around me at the moment, and of course the simple fact that for the MOST PART, Abi will be with Matty all day, so she's gonna be REALLY happy bout that I'm sure! Anyway, will probably blog again once we are in the midst of our new crazy hectic lives, as Matt's new job at the 'right' paper starts on Thurs and as I said I'm back to Sky on Monday. So batten down the hatches cos it's hurricane season!

First Family Trip and Abi's 1st Wedding...

"What a lovely time we had the weekend we went to Scotland! la la la"

For the Easter weekend, all three of us drove up to Scotland stopping en route for the night both ways (we're not crazy like SOME people I could mention!) as gone are the days of just ploughing through and doing the long haul, we now have to stop for nappies/bottle/sludge feeds galore, or .... so we thought. Abi it turns out is a natural traveller for now at least, and she took to it so well we did not even stop on our way back and did it in two four hour stints via Morecome Bay, nice view, weird statue (Eric), not much else (in case your wondering).

As you can see from the pic included my lovely family scrub up pretty well, the wedding took place on a posh estate southwest of Edinburgh, and when I say posh, I mean posh, the grounds were so extensive that 24/7 4x4s were on call to transport guests from lodge to loch to mansion etc etc, so we could call up on our mates on the non partying side of the estate (they were in the owners spare room) and get them over to our palatial lodge for a chinese and bevvy or two no problem! If anyone is looking for a great place to do a posh weekend then we would all recommend Harburn House

We even had Dolly Parton , Stevie Wonder and Michael Jackson singing for us at the reception! The Bride and Groom are professional musicians, and have a far reaching list of equally talented mates who all took the mic from the singer of the band at the reception. It was high standard of performing, well until some drunkard stole the mic from Michael to do a bizarre impersonation of a trumpet!? And the bridge and groom were not to dissapoint either both performing for us, the grooms drum duet was IMMENSE it blew our minds, and somehow managed to lull Abi to sleep?

On a more down to earth note, having a pit stop at the motorway service station, where we all had something to eat, Abi included, using the baby feeding facilities, microwave etc, was lovely. For the years that I have yearned to be a mum and have stopped off at these places and imagined what it would be like to be there with our child, and then to actually be there - BLISS, total and utter contentment!

Ok....I get it now!

So, to all new mums and long serving ones, there most likely has been a moment, or if not a couple of points in your life as a mum where you've suddenly realised, I just need to get on and do this, like overtime in the media industry I suppose, we are simply expected to do it, you get nothing extra for it financially, no one thanks you for it, but simply doing it and getting your job done is reward itself.

I've recently had an ear infection, called 'vertigo' honest....and it came at the same time Matt was doing some film driving work, which is LONG hours so we hardly saw him all week. Abi had the initial sleep through from beginning on solids, but then reverted back to waking every four hours and all this combined made for a pretty hard week for me, there was no one around to tell me every five minutes how well I was doing, as when you're that tired you really feel like you need validation THAT often! And there was no one to confide in on whether it was best to migrate onto sweet potato or parsnips, or whether she MIGHT take milk from a cup if not from a bottle (weaning off the boob is NOT as fun as weaning onto food, it's a SAD thing you have to do!!)

I know I have been completely and utterly spoilt having Matt around for the first few months, and I am sure it will never be like that again, as our lives will undoubtedly move on...anyway, as I said, the point is....I realised that as a mum, you just have to GET ON WITH IT, Abi may well thank me, in twenty years time if she is anything like me, (sorry mum, I did say thanks, THANKS, THANK YOU for everything, EVERYTHING you EVER did for me didn't I?), but for now it's just a matter of me knowing I am doing the best job I can...

Couple of pics above of Abi trying out new stuff from left: facing forwards in the sling for the first time and wearing Granddad’s gloves, sitting up on her own on the train, in a swing in the park!

Who knew white sludge could get you so emotional!

As you can see from the picture, Abi has started weaning...to those uninitiated that means Matt and I have started giving her BabyRice/WhiteSludge...she had her first mouthfuls yesterday and she loved it! What I was not ready for AT ALL in fact, was just how emotional I was going to be about it. I am aware that my emotional state could be down to the lack of sleep leading up to this point 2 hourly/4 hourly feeds 24/7 for 2 weeks....or it could be that this was just simply a major day in our little girls life....

On the plus plus side, she has (for one night only) reverted back to 11 through to 7, lets hope that lasts, cos for all those reasons above I feel ON TOP OF THE WORLD this morning! Big crazy grinning ensues!

Network of mums...and a GREAT man!

Over the last few weeks Abi has gone from sleeping through the night to waking up every couple of hours for more feeding, this has resulted in my being sleep deprived more than I was when she was first born, as even though I am getting sleep every night, it is no more than five - six hours and cut up severely.

So, even though those who know him would expect no less, Matt is being a DIAMOND and putting up with huge amounts of rubbish from me, I mean I lose it at the SLIGHTEST thing, no really, the slightest. Yesterday he calmly suggested that I try to get Abi back into a routine, when I had asked his thoughts on her new feeding/sleeping habits, and for some reason I lost it at him, thinking at that moment, that this was the most unhelpful and flippant thing he could say, of course he was right, and I intend to stop demand feeding Abi as from today!!

And the other thing that is getting me though, homage to the Tues NCT girls here...is the wonderful network of mums that I have surrounded myself with. I turned up at the pub yesterday afternoon, after five hours of intermittent sleep and half a cup of coffee (no time to have more with one thing and another) and I just did not want to be there, or rather socialising at all, I had only turned up out of loyalty to the friends I have made and the vague notion that I would feel better after a chit chat and a latte...but by god did it make ALL the difference, and it was NOT just the caffeine I am certain, to have a good couple of hours with a great bunch of woman with whom I share so many things in common, and the fun and sheer wonderfullness of discussing everything from going back to work/poo/feeding/poo/insane family members (naming no names M!)/poo...it was JUST what I needed - Thanks ladies!

Glorious Pic of Abi in a pink leather chair courtesy of Matty.

I'm an expert/I know NOTHING!

Why is it that I veer wildly between thinking I know what's best for Abi and how to get her down/keep her down/feed her/placate her, or know she's crying because of hunger/boredom/tiredness and thinking completely the opposite and that I know nothing, and have to ask every other mother I meet their opinion on the matter?? Don't bothering answering that, as it's clearly a rhetorical question, no on second thoughts do let me know your thoughts on the matter....oh I don't know, a month ago five hours sleep seemed a lot, and now for some reason it is nowhere near enough!? Ho hum the ever changing landscape of motherhood, and I've only been at it for fifteen weeks ;-S

Latest snaps...

Abi in her bargain highchair...just a few more weeks Abi!

She loves her daddy!! oh and bunny...

First Trip into London...

Ok, so just have to draw your attention to a previous post: http://mumtobeno1.blogspot.com/2007_06_01_archive.html where I was the witness of a woman traveling on a train with a child whilst talking on the phone, and back then imagining the things to come, whilst being a tad judgemental at the silliness (read the post!)....well would you adamandeve it....that was EXACTLY what I goneanddun myself...

Last Fri I went into town to meet a very good friend for lunch, and I ended up on the phone to my sisinlaw, getting off train, on bus, off bus with Abi in Buggy, phone in one hand and coffee in the other, no hang on, that's not enough hands...well therin lies the problem....Hey ho, we survived in one piece, and Abi seemed to enjoy herself!

Pub Culture

Abi: "Hey Louis" / Louis: "Whats up Abi!"

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Mum's: "Ahhh how cute"

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Barman: "Are that lot going to be here all day?"

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Other Patrons: "(Inward remark) oh b***er"

Well Maternity leave is going pretty well thanks, forget coffee culture, think pub culture, as I seem to spend most of my time in pubs with my mum friends, which is great as I don't get to go out drinking much in the evening anymore! In fact I took it a tad too far last week, and whilst meeting my bro in town, Abi actually got chucked out of an over 18s bar in Leicester Sq....oops! That's two pubs she's been chucked out of already, and at such a tender age, she is sooooo her daddy's girl!

Abi has had a cold recently, and has been up during the night so as I never did get into that time honoured tradition of listening to your mothers advice and sleeping when your baby did, I have been getting an average of five hours a night for about a week, and when at my nephews party on Sunday I was sitting across from one of the mums in attendance, it was a full minute or two of silence before I reaslised she had been waiting for me to respond to a question whilst I had been gazing into the distance thinking of goodness knows what whilst she patiently waited on, social etiquette, what's that all about again? Question: So, how long can you use your child as an excuse for all your inadequacies?

As I have not being all that great on the finance side of things, err....ever, I have only just finally bought into this whole, oh yeah I am not actually earning any money right now thing, and so in a fit of family solidarity decided to be mrs frugal and go onto ebay in search of some baby bargains. Matt was out, my first mistake (as he always sanity checks my online purchases), and off I went into eBay land. (Sorry if you've heard this already girls!) Anyway to cut a long story short, I managed to get myself a wow bargain, a lovely wooden highchair that turns into a seat/table thingy, all for the bargain price of £1.04! AND ..tadadada.....Free delivery! Too good to be true right? Yep...you would be right...as it was not till Matt got home to my loud cries of 'how clever am I, I have saved us so much money' etc etc, that he tiredly pointed out it was local pick up only, and the eBay seller lived north of Cambridge...Ooops! Poor Matt, so today he spent a full four and half hours driving up to collect it, costing him £30 in petrol, plus he felt a tad silly handing over the £1 and 4p so gave the chap a whole £2...Whilst I spent the afternoon, yep you've guessed it right again, in the pub with my mates! I ask you, do I deserve this amount of patience and agreeability from my long suffering hubby? (...Don't answer that!)

To keep you up to date on more practical matters, we are no longer going down the childminder route, Matty decided he would rather stay at home and look after our bundle of lovliness than go out to earn a crust to ONLY just cover childcare costs (Who knew it was that expensive, well apart from all you long serving parents that is) Anyway...HURRAH! I am so happy it's hard to put into words, suffice to say, although I think leaving Abi to go back to work will still be hard, I will be able to cope a lot lot better knowing she is in the safe/capable and LOVING hands of her dad!

Three months old already...

So, reading over the last post I have to update you that we sim-ply just gave up trying to put Abi down any earlier than 2am until SHE was ready! .. and the last week or so she has gone down ON the DOT at 11pm every night, and for the first time (I am still holding my breath) she went down tonight at 7pm (woke/fed/went back down at 8pm) and has been asleep ever since (time now 11:50pm and counting) SURELY this CANNOT be the time when I can begin to say with pride and not a tad of self importance/achievement - My daughter is ONLY three months old and she is ALREADY sleeping through the night! It's funny as for years I have heard other parents talking about the achievements of their children and wondered why they sound so proud of such bizarre and seemingly mundane things, but the sleeping thing is just a drop in the ocean of achievements Abi has had this week - but they are all so miniscule to mention, a new sound, or intonation on an already discovered one, a new way of looking at me whilst feeding, almost launching herself off the chair thingy in the bath...these are almost not worth mentioning to people I speak to during the day and yet....they are such meaningful moments and all so precious! Today for example, we lay on the bed for more than half an hour, just kissing each other, well Abi's version of kissing anyway, which is open mouth, eyes blinking with loads of goo-ing! Blissful.

I just had to write another post although it's not been a month since my last, as this last fortnight I have begun to look into childcare, and it has been the most painful thing I have ever had to go through, and I still have three months before I have REALLY got to go through it. I had an appointment to go and meet my first childminder posibility on Monday, and an hour before we were meant to go, I was curled up on the bed weeping, just managing to get myself together enough to call and postpone half an hour beforehand, and thankfully without yelling down the phone, "I DON'T WANT TO MEET YOU YET, Stranger who will possibly have my child to themselves more hours in the day, more days in the week than me"....it's just not right, but it has to be done, right! Right? So many women have been through this before, but this time it's me, and it hurts!

NB - These lovely photos were taken by my very talented husband...anyone wanting something equally as lovely of their own offspring please go to http://www.matts-i.com/