Oh the joy, oh the pride, oh the rapture....oh my god!?

The other day whilst my mum was taking care of Abi, they were reading a book together, one of these ones with household and every day objects strewn accross the page with the idea that you are somehow teaching your 10 month old child something, other than how not to rip the pages of the book!

Anyway, whilst going through the book, apparently when they got the the party section of the book which has cakes, bicuits and baloons etc all over the page, when my mum dutifully asking Abi "Where are the cakes, where are the biscuits?" etc, not only did she point to the biscuits, but she then grabbed at them in a mock miming action and looking every bit the Marcel_Marceau and then even placed her imaginary biscuits in her mouth, looking very pleased with herself indeed!

We were all; myself, my mum, Matt and our mates Rhyd and Amanda, VERY IMPRESSED, and not only is she great at miming, she's proving to be a Maestro on the piano aswell - if I could post videos on blogger believe me I would, it's genious! Not that we are planning our retirement yet mind you....

Where did that baby smell go?

I know that it's all 'part of the process/part of them growing up' etc, but when I realised for the first time yesterday that Abi no longer had 'that baby smell' I have to admit I was pretty sad. It was something I suppose I thought would last longer, and if I had known it was on it's way out then...oh...what? I would of smelt her more often? My mum pals will bear witness to the fact that this is probably an impossibility, as they teased me I constantly had my nose in her hair!? Anyway...It's gone, and to a certain extent, although she still smells lovely, it's not THE 'baby smell' and I am in mourning. This along with stopping breast feeding on holiday (her decision) means that she just no longer feels like a baby! She's a little person, with an affected laugh and unique smile (something akin to Roland rat and a gurning champion).

Well we survived our first family holiday abroad in Spain. Although we had a couple of days with no running water (literally flushing the loo with water siphoned from the pool) and there was no bath, so we have a hilarious pic of Abi being washed, rubber ducky an all, in a bidet!

Before you judge... this was, with no bath, better than the sink or the floor of the 'rustic' shower! You'll be pleased to know that we got moved to a property with both running water and a bath, and also got £200 compensation! Why is it though that as soon as you go on holiday you get ill, poor little thing, she was projectile vomiting and in such a bad way for the first few days, it was such a relief when we got our fun little Abi back again.

The sun is out, and where am I?....Back at work thats where!

How typical! The sun appears and I have to go back to work! Well we made the most of the long bank holiday weekend as you can see from these lovely pics. If you haven’t been we can highly recommend Hever Castle in Kent, only 50 mins lovely drive through the country...well worth a day trip - Wonderful gardens and lake (can't tell you about the castle as we faffed about outside so long, by the time we got to the castle it was closed for the day!)

Anyway, going back to work and how we coped and how I felt...well for one thing the thought of leaving Abi and going back to work was a LOT harder than actually doing it. I cried as I walked away from home the first two days, and did not cry the third day and then felt guilty that I had not cried for the rest of the day! Abi having not yet reached that dreaded stage where separation anxiety kicks in, is typically oblivious to my departure each morning, and just grins inanely at me as I wave goodbye from the door choking back my tears more often than not! When I return is a different matter however, and she seems to genuinely pleased to see me again that the whole day apart just melts away and I feel like the most loved mum in the world!

Lessons learnt:
1) Make sure you tell all your friends and family when you're going back to work so they all text and call - knowing everyone who cares about you is thinking about you on the dreaded day REALLY helps!
2) Have lots of lovely pics of your beloved on your phone so you can gaze at them, whilst looking like you are just a normal person reading a text or something.
3) DEFINITELY where possible ensure you have NOT been breast feeding during the day for at least a week before going back - as boob explosion is not a pretty sight, and will NOT ingratiate you with your boss or colleagues, it's just weird ok!
4) Set a reminder on Outlook to tell you to START getting ready to leave, (IF you are not a clock watcher of course) as if you miss that earliest train possible, you really feel like you're a bad mother who loves being at work more than being at home with your child (seriously even if it is only 15 mins or so till the next train, you are wracked with guilt!)
5) Don't take the welcome home for granted, make the most of the unbiased and unadulterated joyous reaction to your return, without judgement or any questions about where you've been - it's wonderful

All good things.....

It feels as though I've been off work for AGES, but at the same time, it's gone SO so quickly, but as 'they' say, all good things must come to an end, and in less than a week my maternity leave is officially over, done with, ended, caput, end of, no more, DONE....

I have a real mixture of emotions right now, and it was so hard today having my last Tues afternoon with the NCT girls, although that said, I am seeing them tomorrow, oh and on Thurs too...but the point is, although I knew this was going to happen, it's still hard, REALLY hard!

I had a great chat with a mum friend who's daughter is 16 months, and she had some wise words for me, 'it's just going to be different' I know that sounds so simple, but she's right. This is not the END of something, I will still be Abi's mum, and see her every day, it's not like maternity leave ending is the END of EVERYTHING, it's just that it feels that way at the moment....

IT/This, would be so much harder if I had not got so many wonderful women around me at the moment, and of course the simple fact that for the MOST PART, Abi will be with Matty all day, so she's gonna be REALLY happy bout that I'm sure! Anyway, will probably blog again once we are in the midst of our new crazy hectic lives, as Matt's new job at the 'right' paper starts on Thurs and as I said I'm back to Sky on Monday. So batten down the hatches cos it's hurricane season!

First Family Trip and Abi's 1st Wedding...

"What a lovely time we had the weekend we went to Scotland! la la la"

For the Easter weekend, all three of us drove up to Scotland stopping en route for the night both ways (we're not crazy like SOME people I could mention!) as gone are the days of just ploughing through and doing the long haul, we now have to stop for nappies/bottle/sludge feeds galore, or .... so we thought. Abi it turns out is a natural traveller for now at least, and she took to it so well we did not even stop on our way back and did it in two four hour stints via Morecome Bay, nice view, weird statue (Eric), not much else (in case your wondering).

As you can see from the pic included my lovely family scrub up pretty well, the wedding took place on a posh estate southwest of Edinburgh, and when I say posh, I mean posh, the grounds were so extensive that 24/7 4x4s were on call to transport guests from lodge to loch to mansion etc etc, so we could call up on our mates on the non partying side of the estate (they were in the owners spare room) and get them over to our palatial lodge for a chinese and bevvy or two no problem! If anyone is looking for a great place to do a posh weekend then we would all recommend Harburn House

We even had Dolly Parton , Stevie Wonder and Michael Jackson singing for us at the reception! The Bride and Groom are professional musicians, and have a far reaching list of equally talented mates who all took the mic from the singer of the band at the reception. It was high standard of performing, well until some drunkard stole the mic from Michael to do a bizarre impersonation of a trumpet!? And the bridge and groom were not to dissapoint either both performing for us, the grooms drum duet was IMMENSE it blew our minds, and somehow managed to lull Abi to sleep?

On a more down to earth note, having a pit stop at the motorway service station, where we all had something to eat, Abi included, using the baby feeding facilities, microwave etc, was lovely. For the years that I have yearned to be a mum and have stopped off at these places and imagined what it would be like to be there with our child, and then to actually be there - BLISS, total and utter contentment!

Ok....I get it now!

So, to all new mums and long serving ones, there most likely has been a moment, or if not a couple of points in your life as a mum where you've suddenly realised, I just need to get on and do this, like overtime in the media industry I suppose, we are simply expected to do it, you get nothing extra for it financially, no one thanks you for it, but simply doing it and getting your job done is reward itself.

I've recently had an ear infection, called 'vertigo' honest....and it came at the same time Matt was doing some film driving work, which is LONG hours so we hardly saw him all week. Abi had the initial sleep through from beginning on solids, but then reverted back to waking every four hours and all this combined made for a pretty hard week for me, there was no one around to tell me every five minutes how well I was doing, as when you're that tired you really feel like you need validation THAT often! And there was no one to confide in on whether it was best to migrate onto sweet potato or parsnips, or whether she MIGHT take milk from a cup if not from a bottle (weaning off the boob is NOT as fun as weaning onto food, it's a SAD thing you have to do!!)

I know I have been completely and utterly spoilt having Matt around for the first few months, and I am sure it will never be like that again, as our lives will undoubtedly move on...anyway, as I said, the point is....I realised that as a mum, you just have to GET ON WITH IT, Abi may well thank me, in twenty years time if she is anything like me, (sorry mum, I did say thanks, THANKS, THANK YOU for everything, EVERYTHING you EVER did for me didn't I?), but for now it's just a matter of me knowing I am doing the best job I can...

Couple of pics above of Abi trying out new stuff from left: facing forwards in the sling for the first time and wearing Granddad’s gloves, sitting up on her own on the train, in a swing in the park!

Who knew white sludge could get you so emotional!

As you can see from the picture, Abi has started weaning...to those uninitiated that means Matt and I have started giving her BabyRice/WhiteSludge...she had her first mouthfuls yesterday and she loved it! What I was not ready for AT ALL in fact, was just how emotional I was going to be about it. I am aware that my emotional state could be down to the lack of sleep leading up to this point 2 hourly/4 hourly feeds 24/7 for 2 weeks....or it could be that this was just simply a major day in our little girls life....

On the plus plus side, she has (for one night only) reverted back to 11 through to 7, lets hope that lasts, cos for all those reasons above I feel ON TOP OF THE WORLD this morning! Big crazy grinning ensues!